It has come to my attention that I don't have much of a gift of brevity. It is simply just not on my list of qualities that were supplied at birth. It doesn't keep me up at night; just that I realized I don't have the basic skills to make a better than average poet, so I declined the oppertunity to join this illustriuos gathering initially.
But then, there is only just so long I can sit by and watch this much fun going on!
So, in the spirit of fun and poetry, I offer these few little gems. They are not mine and the original author/s is unknown to me.
There once was a man named McGlass,
Whose Balls were made out of Brass,
When a storm was in the weather,
His Balls clanged togather,
And Lightening shot out of His Ass!
There once was a Bar Maid from Sales,
Who had tattooed on her chest,
All the prices of Ale,
And on Her Behind,
For the sake of the Blind,
was the very same thing,
But in Braille!
A Bear walks into a bar in Boise and orders a beer.
The Bartender tells him he can't serve a beer to a bear in Boise.
It's against the law.
The Bear is beerless and breaks out in a broken barrage of bickering!
Breaking barstools and busting bottles and belts the jukebox a time or two.
Then, to top it all off, Barrels down the Bar to bite off the head of the feminnin Barfly!!
He Bolts it down, Bobbypins and all!
" I DEMAND A BEER!!!" Bellows the Bear.
Belched the Bartender,"It's against the law to sell a bear a beer in Boise, 'specially one on Drugs."
"A Bear on Drugs?!?" Questioned the bothered Bear.
"Yea," said the bucolic Bartender"What about that Bar-Bitch-You-Ate?"
I Don't have the gift of brevity, I can't write a decent poem even if I had a mouthfull of it but I do know a few dirty jokes.
Oh Well...
8 comments:
I don't think we should post material here that is not written or adapted by contributors to this blog. If there is a poem you would like to share, link to on the web or to Amazon, or post it in the comments in response to original material.
Of course, I am, as always, flexible and open to logical arguments to the contrary, despite popular opinion.
What does everyone else think?
Doc,
I feel like I'm in the Lodge. You'd better be wearing your Red Green outfit, mister!
By the way, Doc, I'm tickled pink that you are writing and I'm particularly pleased that you chose to jump in here.
You have a lot of experience examining poetry and I think you could write something really great. [In Stewie's voice]:Maybe an epic poem instead of a haiku? Something along the lines of Gunga Din? Maybe, something with serving wenches or farmers? Or Both?
And, JJ, please express your humor!!! I didn't mean to give the impression that I was serious about poetry. My favorite poems are limericks.
If there is something that inspires you, though, that someone else has written, by all means post it. But I think you must also comment on why it had an impact on you.
I guess I don't want this to be a place where the "old masters" wander. I want to know what you all think and feel. I couldn't give a rat's ass what Byron or Shakespeare or Marcel Duchamp would say.
...and I know from rat's asses, don't I, Big Orange. ;-)
Sounds good to me...we can post poems we like and talk about them. I'd like to share some of my friend Roy's poems here too...but it might just piss him off if he's not making money from it.
You could always invite Roy to join. That would be interesting!
Are you kidding me, Madame E? I'd be too intimidated to show him my poetry.
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