A transcription of an IM conversation from this morning NOT edited for spelling, grammar etc.
Flannery: How you doin'?
Big Orange: 咻～～～(一陣冷風吹過，好冷喔～～)
Big Orange: 啊～～～那會怎樣(台語)！
Big Orange: how you?
Flannery: so far so good
Big Orange: actually, yes.
Big Orange: I love Dr. [name withheld]
Big Orange: no swelling, no pain
Big Orange: didn't even FEEL anything during the operation thanx to the IV valium!!
Big Orange: oh, and old tech is still good tech.
Big Orange: that is, an old fashioned ice bag is a wonderful thang.
Big Orange: and a helluva lot cheaper than those chemical ice packs.
Big Orange: hehehehe///
Big Orange: I woke up with a half poem in my head.
Big Orange: I'm trying to see if I can write it.... wanna see what I have so far?
Big Orange: Come gather ‘round, pull up a chair, and listen my friends
To a tale about my most recent event
a happening that made my heart most content,
the cutting of my vas deferens.
Flannery: oh, jesus
Big Orange: I thought I'd try covering ALL the blogs...
Big Orange: so you like it so far??
Big Orange: I'll work on it.
Big Orange: can I send it to you for editing??
Flannery: I feel like I've been listening to a reality show about your vasectomy!!!
Big Orange: yup!
Big Orange: you get the play-by-play AND the colour commentary!
Big Orange: hehehehehehe!!
Big Orange: I told Doc a lil' bit about it and he thinks there is much material to be mined therewithin.
Flannery: I think I could do my phd on the subject; my knowledge is so intimate
Big Orange: ESPEICIALLY when I told him that the MD's office was an old HOUSE
Big Orange: AND that four old, old guys were milling around the porch and coming outside, all walkin' reaaal funny and bent over.
Flannery: I'm done picturing your balls and the workings therein
Big Orange: one old motherfucker could barely walk-- like he'd been repeatedly KICKED in the balls-- and was wearing an eyepatch!
Flannery: well, you are in the south
Big Orange: I seriously thought about chickening out for a moment there.
Big Orange: well, yeah....
Flannery: well, you are a big chicken
Big Orange: that's troo...
Big Orange: remember the surgery in "Batman" where the Joker got patched up??
Flannery: not really
Big Orange: well, there we go.
Flannery: why don't you ask Doc to edit your poem?
Big Orange: hehehehe.
Big Orange: OK.
Flannery: let me know when you are moved to write about flowers...or ovaries
Big Orange: anyway, valium is wonderful.
Big Orange: I could write about ovaries.
Big Orange: there's a new sterilzation process for wimmin-folken that doens't involve surgery.
Big Orange: is that interesting to you?
Flannery: oh, wait...new wardrobes?
Big Orange: no... falopian tube implants
Big Orange: you wanted to know when I was moved to write about ovaries, but when I ask if you're interested, you say nope.
Flannery: do i contradict myself? then i contradict myself! I am vast; I contain multitudes
Big Orange: you know, a whorehouse would contain multidudes....
Flannery: a food court contains multifoods
Big Orange: a naturist camp contains multinudes...
Flannery: a bi-polar person contains multimoods
Big Orange: a college frat house on keg night contains multispeweds
Big Orange: aaaand Christian churches at Lent will contain....
Big Orange: uh....
Big Orange: multiescheweds
Flannery: a vegas wedding chapel might contain multiwooeds
Big Orange: a mass jail break would might produce multieludes....
Flannery: A model-maker would collect multiglueds
Big Orange: back to the whorehouse: MULTISCREWEDS!!
Big Orange: a hair salon: MULTISHAMPOOEDS!!
Big Orange: an orthodox Jewish Synagogue: MULTISNOODS!!
Big Orange: a Hollywood movie set: MULTICUED!!
Big Orange: a room full of pathological liars: MULTIDELUDES!!
Flannery: a bad movie: multibooeds
Big Orange: a thorazine clinic: MULTISUBDUEDS
Flannery: a house with many fireplaces: multiflued
Flannery: many flashers: multilewds
Big Orange: a whole collection of carnival sideshow barkers in the same room....
Big Orange: ::ahem::
Big Orange: MULTIBALLYHOOED!!
Big Orange: back to the prison break: MULTIPERSUED!!
Big Orange: a dozen soup kitchen cooks would be MULTISTEWED
Big Orange: so would a roomful of drunks...
Big Orange: ah! 25 cubist painters in the same room: MULTISKEWED!!
Big Orange: how did we overlook the lawfirm: MULTISUED!!
Big Orange: or a quadrouple rainbow: MULTIHUED!!
Big Orange: a middle school: MULTIATTIDUDE!
Big Orange: an outdoors/watersports sports store: MULTICANOED!!
Big Orange: a pig farm manure pit: MULTIPOOED!
Big Orange: same thing with a Disney Store....
Big Orange: MULTIPOOHED.
Flannery: or many cagey people: multialludes
Flannery: or saturday mornings; multicartooned
Flannery: racetraces: multivroooms
Big Orange: hehehehehe!!
Flannery: or ren-faire people: multipantalooned
Flannery: or shipwreck survivors: multimarooned
And then Big Orange had to lie down.